In today's episode, we're joined by the wonderful Health Coach, Helen Scoville. Together, we explore the misconceptions of wellness as well as how we can regain our vitality, especially as mothers.
One of Helen's core message revolves around the concept of 'bio-individuality.' It's all about embracing the fact that your path to well-being is as unique as you are; what works well for one may not be the answer for another. There's no one-size-fits-all approach. While we talk about physical changes we can make to regain balance (like not drinking coffee on an empty stomach), we also discuss the importance of our beliefs and connecting with who we truly are.
What I love about my conversation with Helen is how vital it is that we make ourselves a priority, so that our kiddos are also inspired to live their best lives. They're watching, they're learning, and they're modeling their choices after us.
So, tune in and rediscover the path to wellness, one that's uniquely yours. It's time to prioritize yourself, embrace your bio-individuality, and lead the way for a happier, healthier future—for you and your family.
Mentioned In This Episode:
Helen's Website: livewithhelen.com
Helen on Instagram: @live.with.helen
Resources for Kimberly Virginia:
Disclaimer: The Soulful Motherhood by Design Podcast and content posted by Mel Robbins is presented solely for general informational, educational, and entertainment purposes. The use of information on this podcast or materials linked from this podcast or website is at the user’s own risk. It is not intended as a substitute for the advice of a physician, professional coach, psychotherapist, or other qualified professional, diagnosis, or treatment. Users should not disregard or delay in obtaining medical advice for any medical or mental health condition they may have and should seek the assistance of their healthcare professionals for any such conditions.
In today's episode, we're joined by the wonderful Health Coach, Helen Scoville. Together, we explore the misconceptions of wellness as well as how we can regain our vitality, especially as mothers.
One of Helen's core message revolves around the concept of 'bio-individuality.' It's all about embracing the fact that your path to well-being is as unique as you are; what works well for one may not be the answer for another. There's no one-size-fits-all approach. While we talk about physical changes we can make to regain balance (like not drinking coffee on an empty stomach), we also discuss the importance of our beliefs and connecting with who we truly are.
What I love about my conversation with Helen is how vital it is that we make ourselves a priority, so that our kiddos are also inspired to live their best lives. They're watching, they're learning, and they're modeling their choices after us.
So, tune in and rediscover the path to wellness, one that's uniquely yours. It's time to prioritize yourself, embrace your bio-individuality, and lead the way for a happier, healthier future—for you and your family.
Mentioned In This Episode:
Helen's Website: livewithhelen.com
Helen on Instagram: @live.with.helen
Resources for Kimberly Virginia:
Disclaimer: The Soulful Motherhood by Design Podcast and content posted by Mel Robbins is presented solely for general informational, educational, and entertainment purposes. The use of information on this podcast or materials linked from this podcast or website is at the user’s own risk. It is not intended as a substitute for the advice of a physician, professional coach, psychotherapist, or other qualified professional, diagnosis, or treatment. Users should not disregard or delay in obtaining medical advice for any medical or mental health condition they may have and should seek the assistance of their healthcare professionals for any such conditions.
Kimberly [00:00:05]:
Hello, beautiful souls. It's Kimberly Virginia, your host of the Soulful Motherhood by Design podcast, where we go deep on all things motherhood. I'm a certified positive, discipline, parent educator, accredited life coach, human design specialist, and mother of two precious kiddos. Through inspiring conversations, I'll guide you on this Soulful Motherhood journey and help you to create peace in your home and your heart, raise kind and loving humans, all while living your soul's purpose. So let's get started. I'm so glad you're here. Hello, everybody. Welcome back to another episode of the Soulful Motherhood by Design podcast. With me. Kimberly virginia. I am so excited for today because I have a really special guest who I met through a business mentorship program with Robin Eucliss. It was called the Rockstar Business Mentorship. Before I introduce my guest, I just have to say that joining this program, I really kind of was on the fence about it, and something really was a tipping point for me, and I never knew quite what it was because I didn't know Robin Eucliss yet. Someone introduced her to me through social media. I'm not really in the health and wellness space. I'm more in the spirituality space, as you all know. But I felt like I was going to have some sort of community connection with the people who are also in this program from the very get go. For some reason, this guest, who I have here today, sparked me as somebody I wanted to be connected with. She was so brave and bold in the program. She always offered to volunteer and share her stuff and spoke up and made comments, and you could tell she was really there to move her business forward in a really authentic and vulnerable way. And so without further ado, I want to introduce Helen Scoville. Helen, I'm so excited for you to be here today.
Helen Scoville [00:02:01]:
Hi, Kimberly. Me too. Thank you so much for having me.
Kimberly [00:02:05]:
You're. So, you know, Helen and I have had, obviously, the pleasure of working together in that mentorship program, and it was really all about moving your business forward, really about identifying who's your target audience, how do you utilize social media, and all the things these gurus are saying these days that you need to focus on to grow your business. I really felt in connecting with Helen because we would kind of connect on the side. I don't know if you remember, like, I kind of felt like we would always help each other in social media. There was just this really authentic side of you that I was attracted to. Helen, and I'll read her bio in a second, but Helen is really in this space of health and wellness, and I'll go so far as to say radiance and vitality, and I was really attracted to that and still am, obviously. And there was something about when she would post on social media what she was doing and her day and what her days looked like. And her routine, it's like, I want that in my life, I want more of that in my life. And I ended up hiring Helen to support me with some of my health, some of my wellness, and we're still doing work together. But I will say that just the tiny little tips that she was able to identify made the hugest shift in my wellness, in my mindset, in my routine. And understanding that health and wellness is not just about the way you look, obviously, but it's really about having a life that's sustainable, that's feeling good as a mama, feeling like, yes, we put a lot of other people and things first before our own needs. But finding the ways to integrate real, practical solutions that will make an impact on your day to day. So Helen is a highly motivated and passionate integrative health coach, working with busy women to help them regain vitality, restore balance, and feel their absolute best. As a mom to three young girls, she knows that you can't fill from an empty cup and helps women put themselves first. She works with clients to resolve gut issues and improve their energy, mood, sleep, digestion, metabolic function, and find freedom with food. Your journey and your coaching and how I've worked with you is so unique. I've always worked with people who are like, we're going to get to this goal and we're going to go here, and what are your goals with this? And from personal experience working with you, it was so much more than that. And after reading your bio to the audience, I'd love for them to hear a little bit more about how you got to where you are. So tell us a little bit about your journey, what ignited this passion in you, and a little bit more about your coaching today.
Helen Scoville [00:05:01]:
Sure. I think honestly, it did start with becoming a mama. I think I'd always been interested in health and wellness to some degree, but I think when you procreate and you've got a baby in your belly, and then you're taking care of the baby while it's in your belly and then you have the baby, I really became more focused on what went into her little body. And once I started focusing on what went into her body and how I could nourish her best, you also start thinking about what's going into my body. Plus, I had two subsequent pregnancies after that. So you're taking care of them and taking care of yourself. Because as a mama, we learned, doesn't start when they're born. It starts as soon as you get pregnant. So I think that's where I start. My health journey started with caring about food and nutrition and exercise and just overall wellness. And then probably after my second, but then definitely after my third, I felt like I was checking all the boxes. I was doing everything that I should be doing as far as diet and exercise or going down kind of all these paths of I should be doing cardio. I should be doing head, or maybe I should be vegan, or maybe I should be doing all these prescribed methods that we see all over the place on social media, through marketing. I'm doing all the things that I checking the boxes, and I'm not feeling that great. Just tired all the time. And some of that's being a mom. I mean, I have three girls who are now 1411 and nine, so they're all about two years apart and part.
Kimberly [00:06:48]:
Wow.
Helen Scoville [00:06:49]:
Yeah.
Kimberly [00:06:51]:
Wow.
Helen Scoville [00:06:51]:
Which is crazy. It's very busy. And that in and of itself, of course, is totally exhausting. But I still didn't feel I didn't feel great. I kept kind of going into the doctor. I wasn't sleeping, even though I was trying to get to bed, like, a little bit earlier. And then eventually the doctors diagnosed me as adrenal fatigue, which is very easy to get as a mom. Then it was, well, here's some sleeping meds, or here's stuff to the Band Aid approach, kind of, which didn't sit well with me being in health and nutrition, I barely give my kids Ibuprofen unless it's absolutely necessary. I've always been that way, even when it comes to my own menstrual cycle. I'm like, I won't take anything unless it's really affecting my ability to function. That's just part of my personality. But so that made me kind of deep dive into, well, I don't want a prescription. I don't want a Band Aid approach to why am I fatigued? What is causing this adrenal fatigue? So that's really where I started to really deep dive, and I really started to educate myself more. And I think it was probably at least five to six years of kind of self educating before I was like, you know what? This is something I'm so passionate about. I feel like I've come out of the weeds. I figured out how to take back my vitality as a mom, and I got certified as a coach. And that's what I'm truly passionate about to this day, is helping other moms take that back. So regain that vitality, regain the energy, figure out how to balance your hormones, all the things. I think overall wellness is not just a you know, it's not just diet and exercise. You can check the boxes, but until you're really taking care of every part of you and piece of you, you're not going to feel the way you deserve to feel. So that's basically how I got to where I am today.
Kimberly [00:09:10]:
Absolutely. And tell me a little bit more about when you think about checking the boxes, like, all of the things that we think to do. What are some of the overlooked boxes that when people come to you, when your clients come to you, maybe the things that they're not thinking of, what are some of those trends that you've seen that make a big difference in people's lives.
Helen Scoville [00:09:36]:
Well, I think one of the biggest things that I've learned is bio individuality. And so we are all so different. So different. Every little piece of DNA, every cell in our body is completely different than even my kid. She's her own person. I'm my own person. And I think the biggest misconception and failure is that we see what works for someone else and a prescribed method, say, and say, okay, well, that's going to work for me. And instead of really tuning into what actually does work for you, you go down this systematic approach of some other prescribed diet, mentality or exercise routine. What works for someone else might not work for you. And I think that's a big there's that other saying, too, that someone's medicine is another person's poison. You just don't know because we're all so different. So really coming back to a place of playing around kind of, and figuring out what works for you, we're so different. And that's something to be celebrated. Yes. It's a little harder. I think as Americans, we want the prescribed method. We kind of want, like, tell me what to do, and I'll do fast. I don't have to think about it.
Kimberly [00:11:08]:
Yeah, fast. I love what you're saying, Helen, because clearly, you know, I'm a human design guide and know, although that's not the only piece that I touch on in my coaching with my clients or in workshops with people. It's really where we start. And it's not to say you're doing it wrong. This is how you need to do it. It's to play and to experiment with. Hey, you are not like this person. Exactly what you said. Your DNA is completely different. What's triggered in you is completely different based on all the factors, DNA, when you were born, what time you were born, where you were born, genetics, all these things play such a big role into creating this amazingly unique design in you. And what someone else needs to do for their parenting style, for them and for their child might not be correct for you. And you're going to need to experiment and play. And I think that when we were just talking about being fast and wanting the prescribed approach. We've been taught and groomed and programmed to feel like you've got to do it fast, like, quickly. What can you achieve? How fast can you get it done? Go. Go. Why I do a program that's over several months and same with you, is because it's not a one session thing. There's lifetime of programming and a lifetime of traumas and triggers and different things that make you your unique, amazing self. But we're not supported or taught, really, as we grow up, to spend time feeling that and learning about that. So by the time we get to adulthood, we're like, okay, I have this many years of things to unpack, to unlearn and then dive into who I am. I will say from a testament to working with you when I came to you, I'm like, I want to be which there's nothing wrong with this, and you told me this too. I want to look the best that I have looked in years. I'm feeling like I have the energy for it. I want to have this muscle tone. I want to be this weight. I want to look this way. And you were so amazing because you said yes. And we're going to work together to kind of unpack it. We're going to talk about some food freedom, and we're going to dive into all the things that are creating where you're at right now. And what I'd love for you to talk about is how you do that with your clients. So when you talk about food freedom or you hear their goals, about the way they look, the way they feel, the way that just this transformation of aesthetics, right? So what is it that you do to help them see more of the underlying belief behind that or unleashing the beliefs around food or their body? What are some of those things that you do?
Helen Scoville [00:14:10]:
Well, as I said, even with you, I think there's nothing wrong with aesthetic goals. And I do work with clients on helping achieve those aesthetic goals, for sure. But yes, unpacking and really going into deep diving into what's worked for them before and what hasn't worked. And usually we're deep diving into what hasn't worked before and why hasn't it worked, and really getting into that, because that goes into a whole exploration of who you really are. And really, again, tying back into the bio. Individuality and that we're all so different and uniquely different and figuring out okay, so you've been using this method forever and it's not working. We have to figure out why it's not working because probably it's not something that fits you and suits you. And so I think the benefit of having of what I do is helping people to create their own design in that respect on how to approach health and wellness from an overall perspective of not just diet and exercise. And even if we look at the diet and exercise well, obviously something systematically isn't working with that. So let's look at what is working for your body, because a lot of times with all these prescribed methods, we're not looking at what's working with the body. You're not really actually tuning into maybe actually even specifically with some foods. Maybe they're not even agreeing with you, and you're not even realizing it because, well, if I eat Paleo, then I should look this way. Well, some of the foods, you might not even be working with your body in tune and kind of flowing with what your body actually really needs. So it's really diving deep into every single person's individual path towards health and wellness because everyone's path is going to be completely different.
Kimberly [00:16:10]:
Oh my gosh, absolutely. Exactly what you just said around the uniqueness. And I mentioned that with human design it's like everything about you, there's something specific that you're going to feel is in. And what human design, what we call your fractal, like this is absolutely resonant for me. I'm meant to be in this space or I'm meant to do this thing. It feels correct. And what we teach people in human design is what feels good in your body, what feels correct for you. And honoring that, that might not be what is correct for this other person. And I think the fascinating thing about what you do too, is that when you become a mom, some of that changes. And you talked a lot about that with me too. It's like looking back at your pre child body or your pre child even, your mental state, your routines, what's reasonable to think that you can do in your routines, around your exercise even. And that was one of the things, and I want to share this because there's such practical tools that you shared with me that made such a huge difference. One of them being I kept trying to figure out, okay, how can I wake up at like 04:00 A.m. And do my workout, a big good workout before the girls get up and get completely ready for the day, shower and get ready, do my meditation, all of this stuff. And that's like 3 hours worth of things before the day actually starts. What I remember you asking me like, well, tell me there's nothing wrong with that if you can do that and it feels good to you. Absolutely. And also why do you think that hasn't been working and exploring that a little? And I'm like, well, because the girls are up late at night, they wake up in the middle of the night and sometimes we don't really get a good night's sleep. And I know that it's most important for me to have 8 hours of sleep. So waking up at four actually doesn't really make that much sense. If both girls have woken up at midnight or 01:00 A.m. And I didn't go back down until two, what's more important to me it's sleep. And just having you ask that question so that I can share that and you say yes, sleep is really important and have you considered working out after you drop off and then you kind of start your day at ten and just even proposing a different solution to try on and play with. It was enlightening to me. It was like a switch went off because I have this idea or had this idea that a good mom, a good entrepreneur, her, a good businesswoman, a good whatever, a perfect whatever, gets up early and has all that done at the beginning of the day does drop off and gets right to the desk and is going all day. And that's not what I want in my business and that's not what I want in my life with my girls, my husband, or just as a woman. That doesn't feel good to me. And having somebody ask that and being able to reflect, that just that simple shift. One of the other things you pointed out to me too, was having coffee before you've eaten anything has a really negative impact on your hormonal. I think it's hormonal balance. I'm like, wow, I didn't really even think about the fact that I wake up and I'm doing my meditation and having a big old cup of coffee while I'm doing it on an empty stomach. And then the girls get up and I'm going, going, and I still haven't eaten, and I'll have another cup of coffee and then it's time to get them on the road. And then I get home and by the time I get home, it's around nine and I still haven't eaten. So will you share? Because I think there's probably a lot of other moms, and this is, again, no shame and or blame in here. This is just about enlightenment and shifting our overall wellness. So will you share a little bit about what that does to the body so that everyone can gain your wisdom?
Helen Scoville [00:20:41]:
So it's totally true, you're not alone. I have many a client that do this or did this, and I used to do it myself too, because once again, we're just trying to get through the morning with the kids. And what do you think? You need the energy. So you go straight for the coffee without any food. Scientifically, I mean, you wake up and your body naturally spikes cortisol. Your cortisol is normally spiking, which is normal and fine when you get up in the morning, but then you're adding in other stressors, like the kids getting up and getting them ready for school and all that. And then on top of that extra cortisol, you're adding coffee as another layer too. So you're spiking your cortisol.
Kimberly [00:21:24]:
Tell us, for those who don't know, what is cortisol?
Helen Scoville [00:21:27]:
Cortisol is your stress hormone. Cortisol is your fight or flight too. So it's great if we run into a bear, you want your cortisol to completely spike so that you have that extra energy to motivate you to run fast enough to get away from that bear. So we need it. As human beings, we need our cortisol to ebb and flow, but just as our hormones, it's a delicate balance. So in the morning, you don't want to spike it too much because that also disrupts your blood sugar for the rest of the day too. So you're going to spike your cortisol, you're going to spike your blood sugar. Everything is going to kind of get uneven for the rest of the day. So the biggest mistake, and I've worked on this with you and I worked on this with other clients, is making sure you have something to eat with that coffee. There's no shame in having that coffee in the morning because we need it to get through. But I even noticed before I did this too, was that I was getting a little, like, more snippety even with the kids as well in the morning because I'm only on caffeine and nothing else, no food. So my biggest lesson for those caffeine drinkers into the morning is never drink it without something. Now, I'm not saying you don't have to have like a full breakfast if you don't have time, but have something to complement because you're lessening that spike because you're going to be on a blood sugar roller coaster for the rest of the day. You're going to crash and burn. And later in the afternoon, too, you will notice a difference. That your hormones and your stress hormones later in the day and when dealing with challenges and dealing with the kids will be a lot more balanced if you just balance it off at the beginning of the day, because you're setting the tone for the rest of your day in that first hour to two. That's kind of the gist.
Kimberly [00:23:21]:
I love that. You guys, this was such a shift for me and I kind of laugh at myself about it because I'm like, oh God, is that just such a juvenile thing? But the more I ask people about it, they're like, no, I have a bunch of coffee in the morning too. Sometimes I don't even eat breakfast. Like, oh, my God. Before that didn't seem like that big of a deal to me. But after working with you and understanding just what you just said, like your blood sugar, your cortisol, what it does to you throughout the day, how that impacts your energy levels, your mood, all of that, the chemicals in your brain, everything that's helping you to be the most vital, the most feeling, the feeling, your best. So that still is something that was such a huge shift for me. And the other thing that I loved, and you've pointed to this already with the bio individuality, is really tuning into what sounds good to you to eat in the morning. And I told you when we were working together, I said, I really just feel like a piece of turkey, like a piece of sliced deli turkey on toast and maybe some fruit. And I just feel like that's so weird. And you're like, no, not weird. If you feel like having that, that's protein that's this, like, you kind of walked me through. Have a little bit of protein, have a little bit of fat, have a little bit of this. And there's nothing weird about it. Try it. See how you feel after what's your mood like later. Track that, play with it. If you feel like a piece of steak in the morning. I was telling you about some of these cravings that I have denied. Like, well, no, I should have yogurt. No, I should have oatmeal. No, I should have this. Because of what we see on social media or what people are telling us is the healthy thing to do, or other people's food aversions like cottage cheese. That was one thing you and I talked about, too. I love cottage cheese, but my husband thinks it's really gross and weird, and he does the grocery shopping, and he makes fun of me every time I say I want it, and I don't really want to deal with that now. That's like my own stuff to unpack right? There's some of that, and we did some work on that, too, but then just being like, this is what I want. And I will take a minute on Fridays to shop for the few things I like because my husband shops for the whole family. So I'm going to get some cottage cheese. I'm going to get some healthy deli turkey. I'm going to get the things that I'm excited to eat in the morning. And it shifted that for me, too, because then I was looking forward to what I would eat first thing, even if it seemed weird to everybody else. So I love that that you pointed that out. And that, to me, points to the value of coaching, because it's helping you find the own answers that are within that you know you have some answers to, but you really need someone to partner with you and reflect. That's what I do with my clients, and I know that's what you do with your clients. So if you'll share a little bit more about what you see the value in this integrative nutrition coaching that you do, tell me more about the value of it.
Helen Scoville [00:26:40]:
Well, I think a lot of it has to do with what you said, too. Our role is kind of as a mirror. The answers are within you when it comes to coaching, but sometimes we can't figure it out on our own. It's really hard. We go through, I think, especially as moms, we've almost got blinders on because we're so systematic in our approach to everything. We're trying to keep little humans alive. We've kind of lost touch, I think, a lot of what's actually going on within our own bodies because we're worried so deeply about the little bodies around us. So I think that that's one of my favorite things about coaching. I will coach anyone but mothers, especially, because I think we get lost along the way. I think I got lost along the way to kind of find ourselves. That's where the beauty of coaching comes in, because the answers are still there. We've just lost touch with how to really get in tuned with how to find them again. And that's what a health coach does. I help individuals really find that bright light again, that they has kind of gotten a little muted after taking care of kids, and there's no shame in the game because we all do the same thing. We all do that. So I think helping moms kind of find their way back a little bit and start putting themselves first because it's hard to do unless you have someone encouraging you to do that as well. It's really hard. We as moms feel programmed to take care of the kids, to do them first, to not take care of ourselves first, and we get lost kind of in the shuffle. And to have that encouragement, to have that help depending on certain clients. Some clients need accountability, for sure. But I'm also there to be.
Kimberly [00:28:39]:
I'm.
Helen Scoville [00:28:39]:
Not here to scold you. I'm here to build you up, help you rediscover yourself, be your teammate on this journey towards really regaining that vitality. So I think that's where the value of a coach really comes into play is having that support system, because we all need support. Life is about community, and I need coaches. Everyone needs a coach. Everybody needs a coach in some kind of respect. Yes. Which is why I love what I do, because I love giving and I love receiving just as much. I think this is what life is about and really helping moms find their way back to taking care of themselves because you can't fill from an empty cup. That thing that always struck me so much was that analogy of when you're on an airplane and they're like, you need to put your own mask on before you put it on the kids.
Kimberly [00:29:43]:
And the first that came, I was.
Helen Scoville [00:29:45]:
Like, but it's so true. And the same thing applies in life. You got to take care of yourself. And I think also just this is like kind of a tangent, but as far as your kids go, when you think about your kids, your kids are going to emulate what you do, and you want them to lead their happiest, healthiest, fullest lives, and you want them to take care of themselves. Wouldn't you want them to take care of themselves? Well, if you're not taking care of yourself, they see that. They see that you're not if they see you taking care of yourself and really pursuing strength and vitality and just overall happiness, they're going to do the, you know, preach what you oh, Helen.
Kimberly [00:30:39]:
You read my mind. Because what I was thinking about was just know as a mom of two young girls, so I have two. Everybody, for the most part listening, knows that at this point that I have a almost six year old and a two year old, and I think about them in the future and having grown up around somebody with body positivity. When I look in the mirror, I go, oh, God, I look good. Even if I don't feel like that. I'll say that out loud so that Marley hears me say it. And if we look at pictures of ourselves. Even if I'm thinking, oh my God, like my hair, or even like I'm looking in the zoom right now for everybody, I'm going to be vulnerable. I'm like my hair, my gosh. But I will say in front of Marley, oh, gosh, I love that picture of myself. And I eat breakfast with them every morning. We eat dinner together every night. We talk about the impacts of sugar and having too much of it. Not to shame again, not to make her feel like she can never have it, but just saying, hey, that probably doesn't make you feel that great when you have that much sugar. Do you remember having that tantrum or how you felt later? Just icky. And also having her see, having her have parents who cook healthy things and understanding what it means to have a balanced diet. Does that mean that we don't give her blue box mac and cheese every once in a while and chicken nuggets because they love it? Oh, I mean, it's balance and we go for the small wins. But what I was thinking about when we first introed you is that you have three girls and they're verging in the teen years, right. So you're going through this period of time that society will have us believe is really hard with young girls and their bodies and the pressure and the way they eat and their friends and puberty and all of that. And I'm curious if you can share a little bit with us about how your role in their lives and everything that you do as your gifts to all of us, but also to your family. How have you seen that make an impact on your three girls?
Helen Scoville [00:32:59]:
Well, it's interesting because I think that especially the 14 year old and even the eleven year old, there's a lot of self discovery going on. But I think the biggest thing that I've noticed is even when they seem like they're not really absorbing what I'm saying because I said before, you practice what you preach, but you have to actually truly believe it, and you want your kids to see that and emulate it as well. It will come back twofold, because I think we get caught up in they're not listening to me, they're not hearing me. They're going on sugar binges and all this, and then little snippets will come back because they're not going to be consistent with it. But they'll come down to the gym with me, and they did that a lot on vacation, or they'll be like, I had a lot of sugar yesterday. Maybe I'll try to cut back a bit today. And it's not really about cutting back. I'm like, well, how did you feel yesterday? And they're like, not very good. And I'm like, okay, so do what makes you feel good? I think that's the thing that I'm teaching them is to get in tuned with their bodies. I think it was kind of funny. We were in the airport and we were coming back and this has nothing to do with body image, but this is everywhere. My 14 year old is just like, well, everybody drinks coffee. I should just drink coffee. And she's like a Matcha girl. So she's like me. She drinks matcha mainly because she thinks it helps her skin, which it is incredible for skin, I will say that, but she'll do anything for skin because they have those insecurities. But she's like, yeah, but everybody drinks coffee. I feel like I should drink coffee. And I was like, Adelaide. And I did the age old, well, if everybody jumped off a bridge, would you jump off a bridge, too? And she's like, well, obviously not mom. And I said, okay. I was like, well, you can drink coffee, but see how you feel with it. I was like, Coffee can be tough, like, if you're not having fats in it or if it's a wrong time of day and you're young.
Kimberly [00:35:14]:
I'm like, try to steer clear of.
Helen Scoville [00:35:16]:
Some of this stuff as long as you can. But she ended up getting a caramel macchiato from Starbucks. And again, I don't win them all. That's not the healthiest of choices. But I'm like you know what? Go for it. Whatever, kiddo. And she was on the plane and she says, that was terrible. I feel awful. And she's like, and it only lasted half an hour and I just feel like crap now. Okay, well, maybe don't get a caramel macchiato in the future. I mean, I think you have to let them kind of navigate this stuff themselves, for sure, you can give them guidance and kind of preach what you believe, but then it's kind of up to them and then you kind of just have to let it go. They're going to figure it out. They'll figure out what works for them. But I think what's really important is teaching them how to listen to their bodies, because we don't do that. I think we were all brought up to not really do that, to not really listen. Again, back to the prescribed method.
Kimberly [00:36:23]:
Absolutely.
Helen Scoville [00:36:24]:
We should be doing I should be drinking coffee or I should be doing this and not really tuning into, well, maybe that doesn't work for my body. I mean, who knows? A caramel macchiato might make someone feel invincible for the day. To each their own. But it didn't work for her. And I'm like, well, now you know. And as far as, like, body positivity with the girls too, I do the same. We all have our insecurities, especially as women. And I think what you're doing is fantastic. You just try to keep that up, even if you don't totally believe it. Sometimes say it aloud. Because actually that actually makes the difference. The positive words change a positive mindset, and they hear that and we'll see that as well. So what you're doing is perfect. And I do the same kind of around my girls because there is so much out there right now, it's like system overload with teenage girls. So, yeah, I just speak kindly. Speak kindly to yourself because you want them to speak kindly to themselves.
Kimberly [00:37:40]:
Yeah, I love that. Thank you. I have to share a funny story about well, not maybe not a funny story, but just to ground truth, what you just shared about the caramel macchiato, whenever we're at a birthday party or an event where there's dessert, my husband loves dessert, so he's vigilant with his exercise vigilant. He was a college athlete, and he has a regimen that he does not veer from. He's got a great body. He looks great. Like, he's physically fit. He sleeps well and drinks water. That is a big part of his life. I know him very well. We've been together 13 years. I've always really thought that it was a lot about the way he looks and obviously the way he feels, but the other day we were and I know he wouldn't mind me sharing this, but the other day we were eating, like we were kind of going off on enjoying some just very indulgent foods. And he goes, Babe, don't you know why I work out so hard every day? And I'm like, Why? He's like, so I can eat like this on the weekends. And I just thought it was so funny because it's like that balance, too. He eats really well during the week and works out really hard, but he knows he wants to indulge on the weekends. Specifically with desserts, everybody always points out to me, why aren't you eating dessert? Why aren't you eating like, you don't want a piece of birthday cake or you don't want to so back to the birthday party thing. You don't want to eat a piece of birthday cake. You don't want a cupcake. Are you sure? And everybody always assumes it's a diet thing or that I'm restricting because I don't feel like I deserve it. But I do not feel good when I eat sugar. Like, when I eat something that sugary, it does something like, I'm very in tune specifically with sugar that it really makes me feel terrible. It kind of strung out. And there's also a feeling in me like, that wasn't really worth it. That very fleeting moment for me of the taste of a chocolate cake. It just isn't worth it to me. Now, I will say I don't feel the same way about pizza. Pizza, I'm like, totally worth it.
Helen Scoville [00:39:58]:
I love it.
Kimberly [00:39:59]:
Delicious. But I have to point that out because, again, we're all so different. Somebody else might be like, the cake is worth it to me, and I'm going to let myself eat the cake, and I don't feel bad after. And that's my treat, and that's my balance. Great. So I just like to reflect that what you said about the caramel macchiato. My husband Pete, like how he approaches his balance, his mindset, and then it's everyone is so different, and you have to play with it and test it out and experiment what's correct for you. And modeling that to our children, that, hey, that didn't feel good. It's an opportunity to learn what'd you learn. I told you so. That's bad for you. Just really embracing them, being able to experiment and make those mistakes so that they can figure it out themselves, because they are going to be the ones who know themselves best. Only they can tell what does feel good and what doesn't feel good, and we're just there to support them. So thank you for sharing that. Before we wrap up, is there anything else you want to share with the listeners today?
Helen Scoville [00:41:07]:
I just want to stress the point, too, that I think you even posted on your Instagram. And I say that all the time that self care is not selfish. Your self care and taking back health into your own hands and giving yourself that time is 100% worth it because it's tenfold pays out to everybody else in your life. So I just want moms to know that know that they're worth it. They're worth the extra time that they need in the morning or via workouts or hiring a health coach or you're worth that extra time because the more time you actually spend on yourself and taking care of yourself and bettering yourself, the better you are able to be around every single person around you. And I know there's so many listeners out there who struggle with the mom guilt, because every single mom has that guilt. I still have it. Even when I was traveling, I just traveled for eight weeks with my children, and even I can't even remember. It was towards the end, and I went to go do something because Josh was there for the weekend. My husband was there for the weekend, and I went to go do something, and I was like, I felt kind of bad, and I'm like, oh, my gosh, seriously? I've been taking care of my kids and a tour guide and a translator and everything gallivanting around Europe for eight weeks, and I'm feeling bad because I just went to go get a massage.
Kimberly [00:42:29]:
Oh, my.
Helen Scoville [00:42:32]:
But we all suffer for it from it. We all do this mom guilt thing, and I'm here to say it's, okay? The way I felt coming out of that, and the better I was able to deal with your kids, you will see a difference.
Kimberly [00:42:48]:
So take that time.
Helen Scoville [00:42:50]:
Take that extra time. Make that little extra time to work out. Take that extra little time in the morning. Go spend money on the workout classes. You are worth it, because the better you take care of yourself, the better you can give to everybody else around you. And the happier every happy mama equals a happy baby. I learned that in breastfeeding, and the same thing still applies 100%.
Kimberly [00:43:16]:
Thank you for that. I know everybody needs to hear that. I needed to hear that. So thank you. So where can everybody find you if they want to reach out to you and connect with you? Where social media and your website, all of that which will be linked. But if you'll tell us, that would be great.
Helen Scoville [00:43:33]:
You can go to my website@livewithhelen.com or can also check me out at my Instagram handle at Live with Helen. Those are my two kind of big ones.
Kimberly [00:43:46]:
We will link those in the show notes and you have a special offer for everybody listening today. Will you share what that is?
Helen Scoville [00:43:51]:
I do. If you DM me or you can sign up through my website, you get a free discovery call, which you can find out what it's like to work with me and how you can really start regaining some vitality and feeling your mama best self. And that also when you do sign up with me, you get a free pantry clean out. That's an extra little extra little bonus there.
Kimberly [00:44:12]:
Amazing. Thank you so much for that generous offer. And thank you for being here today. You are just such a light to everybody, to all of us. And I love following your instagram. It is so inspiring, all of the things that you do to support your health and wellness. I take a lot of what you post into my own life and my own health and wellness. So everybody go check that out. Just thank you again for your time. It was really a pleasure to have you here today.
Helen Scoville [00:44:42]:
Thank you so much. It's been so fun and as always, so easy to chat with you. So thank you for having me.
Kimberly [00:44:50]:
Of course. Okay, everybody, that's it for today's episode. We look forward to seeing you next week. Bye for now. Thank you, everyone, so much for being here. If you're enjoying this podcast, please subscribe rate and review so we can continue to bring soulful content your way each week. You can also join my community via my Socials, which you can find in the Show Notes. Until next time. Bye for now.